Redemption of Me
by Sifirela
Summary: Redemption comes with a price; a price of what little peace anyone has. Tsukino Usagi and company embark on a new mission; this time while in college, they realize that their fate may just have been not what they've bargained for. A new enemy is on the rise and their own lives are at stake. Love, peace, and happiness are sure to die if Usagi can't even manage to believe in herself.
1. Chapter 1

**_Prologue_**

Many a times were there moments in my life where I wanted to give in to pressure. The feeling of dying was filled with elation yet panic as it grasped at me while I was lying in the pool of despair. Funny, most of the time people would call me optimistic; sometimes call me a bit too idealistic for my own good. Because of my personality, I was never once given a chance to prove my worth; even though my friends have told me I am the strongest person they know in the times of need. I'm the glue that holds them together; they say.

I don't know if they are being truthful, or being nice in order to keep me occupied from going insane from all of the crazy missions I've had in my short life. Being a fourteen year old, thrust into a life of battles and a war that was closely won by the skins of our teeth gives a new perspective of myself. I am weak, but I am also strong.

I am eighteen now, about to embark on a new adventure filled with excitement. But this time, I know it'll be a very trying experience. Am I talking about a new threat to our Universe? Ha, no. I'm talking about my new adventures graduating high school and entertaining myself with the idea of marrying my Prince. Of course, most young women would go to college (which Luna and Mamo-chan is insisting I go to learn more about the world); however, I'd much rather be in the presence of my love forever.

But, as reality is, I must do what a Senshi would do and battle on.

_**Tsukino Usagi**_

* * *

Notes:

Very short prologue to a long chapter one yet to be written. I am unsure if I'll continue this as it depends solely on the feedback I receive. Also, duly note that yes, it is Usagi who is speaking in first person elegantly…I find that the older she gets, the more mature she gets. And although I would have her more of a less poetic writer, sometimes people can surprise you in their diaries of how they write.

AWB


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter One**_

I woke to the sound of chirping outside of my room. It was odd, somehow, to think this was my last day waking here in this room. This room held a lot of memories for me. From my birth to my transformation to now, this had been my home. Mama, Papa, and Shingo were always there, then Luna had come with the biggest burden a fourteen year old could hold on her young shoulders. I stretch out, bones cracking and muscles screaming in protest from being in disuse for eight or ten hours.

"Usagi! Time to wake!" Mama's voice wove through the door, and a knock came after. I grimaced, knowing this could be the very last time I heard her voice in a very long time. College was calling out like Cinderella's bad stepmother. Fear and anxiety started at the end of my thoughts and ended up causing me to hyperventilate as it coiled through to the main thoughts. I wasn't sure what College would bring, and I knew my anxiety was for nothing. I couldn't help it though. While I could fight enemies and defeat them with my eyes blindfolded if need be, I couldn't think about going to college without getting a cramp in my brain.

Another knock jolted me. Mama sounded furious. I sighed. Perhaps I should get up and face the day. I only had until three-thirty today to get ready. Thankfully with the help of Mama and Papa, and sometimes Mamo-chan, I had gotten most of my packing done.

"I'm up!" I cried when I heard a loud thump on my door. "Honestly, you'd think I'm back in middle school." I whined as I finally got up. I dressed in a hurry, making sure my hair was still intact and opened the door to find my mother with her signature spatula in her crossed arms. "Morning Kaa-san." I smiled at her, kissed her cheek and slid around her.

"Just a minute." Her voice was harsh, almost steely. I stopped, turned, and frowned when I saw her back was still facing me. "I want to know one thing."

"Yes, Mama?" I answered hesitantly. I gulped a bit and perspiration soon started to fall on my forehead. It was a quick reflexive reaction when my mother held that posture and to hear that note in her voice that was borderline angry still got me to retract back my steps of what I had done the following day. All I could think of for a reason to her being angry was because I didn't pack _everything_like she told me to. I had valid reasons why and she didn't seem that upset about it when I mentioned it to her.

She sighed, turned a good one eighty and stared at me. "I am so very proud of you Usagi. I want to know though, are you going to be all right? Out there all alone?"

I sighed in relief, "Mama, I am only going to be a good thirty to forty minutes away. You can come by car to see me every waking moment if it'll ease your heart. I also have Rei and Ami staying next door." I said placidly. I placed each a hand on her shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. I was surprised when Mother put her hands around me, dropping her spatula in the process and hugging me tight, tight.

"You have grown so much." Mama rubbed my arms and patted my cheek. "Let's get ready now, so that we won't be late. Mamoru is meeting up with us?"

"Yeah, he sure is." I smiled thinking about him. Mama chuckled and let out a sigh. Whether the sigh was sadness or relief, I couldn't tell. All I could think about was, perhaps this wasn't so bad.

##

The car packed, I buckled into the backseat with Shingo. Mama and Papa were in the front seat. Papa was nervous about the whole trip to downtown Tokyo, but didn't quite show it once he was behind the wheel. The miles felt long as the seconds turned into minutes that turned into hours, or so it felt. It gave me time to think.

Here I was, eighteen years old, about to embark on a chance of a lifetime that should make me proud and excited; however, the more I thought about it, the more depressed I felt. It was strange, I know, to have thought that I should be happy, but had been turned opposite. I couldn't oppose going to college. It was what my parents expected of me, my boyfriend wanted of me, and my friends begged of me.

But, one errant thought that kept jabbing me in one part of my mind full of doubt was what caused the fear to keep bubbling in my stomach. I was nauseated when I saw the tall buildings.

Mama looked back at Shingo and me and smiled placidly. She could tell from the way I was looking at the tall buildings that I was writhing with nerves. She reached out and patted my hand before righting herself in the front seat. I could see Dad's reflection in the rearview mirror. It was a mixture of my own mirrored anxiety and something else I couldn't explain.

"So," he started, while turning from the freeway. "My daughter, Usagi, college bound. Never thought I'd see that day." He laughed a little at his own pathetic joke. I sighed.

"Dad." I whined, stretching the vocals just a bit. "You're not funny."

"Oh come now, Usagi, I was only trying to get you to laugh." Dad said with a leveled sigh.

"It's okay dear, I still think you're funny." Mama said, placating my father as per usual.

"Yeah, he's funny looking." Shingo said with a light cackle.

"Good one, son!" They both laughed.

I sighed again.

##

Rei, Ami, and Mamo-chan were waiting for us near the apartment complex I was staying in. Papa was already out of the car with Mamo-chan behind him, grabbing things from Papa's hands. They worked in sync trying to get as much as they could before letting the others get the rest. I couldn't help but think it was some sort of competition between the two men that were very important to me. I had to stifle a giggle when Shingo tried to get something out of Papa's hand.

"I've got it, Son." Papa said, grunting from the large, heavy box he had procured out of Mamo's hands. Mama winced and looked at Papa with concern.

"Papa, you're back…are you sure it's…"

"I'm fine!" Papa said, grunting as he staggered toward the building interest.

"Tsukino-san, are you sure you don't need help?" Mamo asked, cautiously walking along side my father who was still struggling badly to keep the box in his hands.

"Chiba-san, I said I was fine. I am a man, and Usagi's father, I can take care of one simple –" There was a pause and silence as a cracking sound ripped from his backside.

"Oh dear…your pants…"

"Dad! You're not wearing any underwear!" Shingo gasped, covering his eyes.

Tears welled in my father's eyes as he finally allowed Mamo to take the box. "My back!" He yelled, rubbing his back furiously, trying all his might to alleviate his pain.

Ami and Rei were both red in the face at seeing my father's bare bottom promptly wiggling in front of him he rubbed his back and groaning. They seemed so transfixed, that when I finally turned away from my struggling father in embarrassment, I pushed them into the building to save face. This was beginning to be a day already. I could tell that from here on out, this was going to be truly a strange and unique journey.

I was just scared that something would come and try to destroy what peace we had.

**Well, it's been four months since I've updated. I've been extremely busy the last 4 months and I can't tell you how long I had this chapter sitting on my computer collecting dust. I wanted to make it longer, but this seemed to fall into place. Thanks for waiting patiently and thank you for the reviews! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

I finally was settled into my own apartment thanks to my boyfriend, friends, and family members. I breathed a sigh of relief when everyone was gone but Mamoru. Ami and Rei had class early tomorrow while I had an afternoon class. I had calls from Mina and Mako after they settled into their own apartment they were sharing. They had chosen a college an hour away from our own college. I remember how sadden I was when I found out where they were staying.

I thought we were always going to stay together forever. But, even with our own duties as Guardians of the Earth, we still were human and students who needed further education or so Ami had said.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Mamo-chan asked for the second time that night we were cuddled on the couch. I lacked the certain response, I guess, for to satisfy his question fully. I admit, I wasn't sure if I was okay with this arrangement. In the morning, Mamoru would be going back to his own apartment forty minutes away, and just the thought caused me a pang of homesickness. We had talked about this before, and while talking it sounded ideal, now, when it was happening, I felt a bit lost.

"I'm all right." I replied softly. I would be, I promised myself. I felt his lips on my neck and felt his kiss planted that sent shivers down my spine. I smiled and turned around to rest my forehead on his chest.

"You don't seem all right, Usako," His voice sounded really sad, like what I was feeling. For this night, I would really have just loved to stay enclosed in his arms. Just as we were about to doze off, there was a frequent buzzing that came from the doorbell. Mamoru sighed as he disentangled himself from me and walked to the door. I figured that Ami and Rei were still up. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I stood up when I didn't hear anyone come in or being invited by Mamoru. He was still at the door when I walked toward the doorway. I was surprised to see a man standing there with a pleasant smile on his handsome face.

Mamoru turned his head at hearing my inquiry of who was at the door. He turned around fully and was smiling widely. It was such a rare sight to behold for Mamo to smile so big, that it gave my heart a jolt.

He moved out the way and said, "This was my best friend in high school!"

I gave him a weird look before looking at the stranger who smiled at me.

"I'm so sorry to intrude like this, but I couldn't help but notice Mamoru and had to come see if it was him." The stranger laughed and smiled at Mamoru, "And it certainly IS him! I live two doors down, and when I was on my way to work I spotted someone familiar and, it was him!" the man laughed eagerly. "You must be Tsukino, Usagi that he always writes about."

"It's been a few years since we've seen each other." Mamoru said, "We kept in touch through mail." He looked back at the man that I still didn't know the name to. "I never dreamed I'd see you here!" Mamo shook hands with him. "Oh! How forgetful I am, Usako, this is Ogino, Hisoka, Hisoka, this is Tsukino, Usagi."

"Pleasure to meet you!" The dark haired man said, embracing my hand that I held out in a Western greeting. His hand was very warm and I felt a jolt in my senses that I hadn't felt in quite a long time. I quickly took my hand away, and it did not go amiss from Mamoru who gave a look of confusion before he masked it.

"I'm pleased to meet you as well." I said breathily. Ogino looked rather baffled and then looked at Mamo again.

"Well, I need to head back. I just wanted to see if it was truly you! We've got to hang out once in a while. It's been way too long." Ogino said, clapping Mamo on the shoulder before backing out of the entrance.

With a few more goodbyes and promises of seeing each other soon, Mamoru closed the door. "What happened?" Mamoru asked, leading me back to the couch.

He sat down and offered his arms out for me to snuggle into his embrace. "I don't know, to be honest. It's strange."

"Tell me about it."

"It's nothing I'm sure. I think it was just a passing of a static electricity." I said with a laugh. He didn't seem too convinced but he dropped it. The rest of the evening was quiet, with watching shows and then we went to bed.

* * *

My day started out pretty terrible. It rained for the most part, Mamoru went back home in the morning, and I had class in the evening. Orientation was that morning – and I had forgotten – but thankfully Mamoru reminded me, woke me up from my deep slumber, and helped me get ready in order to make it with two minutes to spare. Rei and Ami were not very pleased with my less than graceful appearance. I had tripped over my shoe strings I had forgotten to tie and fell right into the lap of the Dean himself. How, I had no idea how I managed it. Thank goodness he was a very sweet man. It didn't help though he made a joke about promptness and how it affect one's balance of work ethics and personal space. My face was red like a beet, and I sat there ashamed. Every eye was on me, I was very sure.

After being berated by Rei for a full ten minutes after Orientation was over, we went to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat for missed breakfast before their morning classes.

Rei sighed as she finished her food, and with a great yawn, said, "I don't know why they have us go through two hours of boring Orientation, then have class right after. This is such a drag. I was hoping to sleep late."

"You knew what you were getting yourself into when you applied." Ami said, stretching her arms over her head and adjusting her glasses. "You even said it yourself; the advisor you were assigned said it was best if you had most morning classes; that way you can study better at night._ And_ the fact that you were possibly not paying attention at all because he was cute."

"Ugh, I never implied he was cute." Rei said with a groan, "Besides," her voice was muffled through her hands sh had thrown over her, "he was married."

I laughed, and earned a rich glare from Rei. "What? It's not my fault you go for married men."

"Shut up, Usagi." Rei said, crossing her arms. Then she sighed and said, "I really don't know what I was thinking, but next semester I'll definitely pay attention."

"Make sure he doesn't have a ring this time." I giggled and felt a foot hit my shin. I rubbed it while grousing about how unfair Rei was.

"When's your class, Usagi?" Ami asked. I guess she was tired of our ongoing battle of wits

"At four." I cringed when the thunder broke through the silence of the almost emptied cafeteria.

"Hopefully this mess will be over by then." Rei said, looking at into the gloom.

"I don't think the weatherman said it would let up soon though. It's only ten though, so maybe you're right." Ami said; looking down at her watch. "As a matter of fact, we should get going. Our class starts in ten minutes." She took her book bag and put it on her shoulder. Rei did the same.

Rei looked back at me and frowned, "Are you going to be okay by yourself for an hour?"

I gave Rei a very annoyed look but smiled, "Of course I will be."

Rei and Ami looked at each other before saying their good byes. I didn't quite understand their look they had just exchanged and I wasn't in the mood to decipher it.

* * *

I walked back to my apartment that night, trying to keep from falling on the floor and sleeping right there near the entryway. I had a full fledge day and I was ready to welcome my nice cozy bed to slumber until the next day where I was free. I was very happy I listened to Ami about taking college in stride and not hurting myself in overloading my time with classes. So, I only took two basic math and Japanese classes.

I tried to unlock my door when my key slipped out of my already struggling hands. I grumbled something and bent down to catch them when I felt the same tingling I had experienced from Ogino the night before. I looked up to stare into the dark eyes of Ogino himself.

"Oh." I inhaled, smelling his cologne. It was a pleasant scent, more exotically earthy than the clean smell I was used to Mamo wearing. "Hello Ogino-san."

"So you remember me." Ogino said with a grin. "I'm sorry, I just saw you were struggling so I wanted to come help. Here you are." He handed me the key he had bent down to scoop up and was careful his time not to make skin contact with me. I gave him an odd look when he started walking away.

"You have a good night, Usagi." He said. I frowned at the familiarity he used with me; I only met him last night. I don't know why it bothered me so much. I was so tired, I didn't even bother to dwell on it. I turned the key and walked into my apartment where I locked up and went straight to bed.

##

**So, here's the deal. I was severely lacking the motivation to write this chapter. I lost lots of time doing other projects that I neglected this one even though it was screaming for release. half of it was written and I just lacked the key ingredient to pump out this chapter faster than I did. Thank you kindly for the reviews and the followers and favorites! They continuously make my day! And encourage me to keep on with this story! Even though this story is quite a challenge because I don't write much in first person or SM fanfics period, I hope this story is up to part. I tried to make this chapter longer, and I was a little successful. I hope the next chapter is much longer. The plot shall kick up a notch maybe in the next chapter!**

Enjoy!


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